Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
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She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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