I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I need to wash the frat house off of me
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize