Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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