if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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