Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
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Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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