OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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