What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
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I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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