Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize