It was confusing and full of hummus
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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