At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
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His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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