If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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