I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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