She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think people are normalizing furries
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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