can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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