Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
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Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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