i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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