eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize