ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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