just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
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You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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