she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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