no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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