What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize