office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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