1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize