I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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