AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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