Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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