my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize