Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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