why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
