I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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