is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
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and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
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