You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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