omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
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The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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