so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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