he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize