Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need to sanitize my soul.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I want to fling myself into the sun
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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