I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
id be glad to
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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