i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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