Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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