Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize