I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize