He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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