i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
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You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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