last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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