Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize