Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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