Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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