At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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