we have officially lost it.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
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S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
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Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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